I am a 62 yr old male who in the past 3 months has had what I thought were chapped lips. This would come and go, however the past 3 weeks more symptoms including more chapping and itching appeared. I visited my family doctor who told me I was experiencing a cold sore break out. This would be the first time in my life I have had a cold sore, so I was surprised and a bit dumbfounded. She explained that upto 80% possibly a higher percentage of adults carry the virus responsible and that (in my case) a lot of stress can cause the immune system to suppress enough to allow for a break out. This appears to be my case. At the same time I have been in a sexual relationship with a 55 yr old woman. Both of us are fit and healthy and other than this outbreak neither have exhibited any kind of other symptom. My question is "given we are sexual, including kissing, oral sex and intercourse (without condom) what is the chance of me having given her the virus? There have been a few instances where I believe one of the chapped parts on my lip was weeping. I would be most grateful to hear a reply - thank you.

Home / Answered Questions / I am a 62 yr old male who in the past 3 months has had what I thought were chapped lips. This would come and go, however the past 3 weeks more symptoms including more chapping and itching appeared. I visited my family doctor who told me I was experiencing a cold sore break out. This would be the first time in my life I have had a cold sore, so I was surprised and a bit dumbfounded. She explained that upto 80% possibly a higher percentage of adults carry the virus responsible and that (in my case) a lot of stress can cause the immune system to suppress enough to allow for a break out. This appears to be my case. At the same time I have been in a sexual relationship with a 55 yr old woman. Both of us are fit and healthy and other than this outbreak neither have exhibited any kind of other symptom. My question is “given we are sexual, including kissing, oral sex and intercourse (without condom) what is the chance of me having given her the virus? There have been a few instances where I believe one of the chapped parts on my lip was weeping. I would be most grateful to hear a reply – thank you.

I am a 62 yr old male who in the past 3 months has had what I thought were chapped lips. This would come and go, however the past 3 weeks more symptoms including more chapping and itching appeared. I visited my family doctor who told me I was experiencing a cold sore break out. This would be the first time in my life I have had a cold sore, so I was surprised and a bit dumbfounded. She explained that upto 80% possibly a higher percentage of adults carry the virus responsible and that (in my case) a lot of stress can cause the immune system to suppress enough to allow for a break out. This appears to be my case.At the same time I have been in a sexual relationship with a 55 yr old woman. Both of us are fit and healthy and other than this outbreak neither have exhibited any kind of other symptom. My question is “given we are sexual, including kissing, oral sex and intercourse (without condom) what is the chance of me having given her the virus? There have been a few instances where I believe one of the chapped parts on my lip was weeping.I would be most grateful to hear a reply – thank you.

Your doctor is right; the Herpes virus related to cold sores is a very common virus. You could easily have been carrying it in your body for years and not known it or you could have been exposed to it from your current partner. Stress can certainly contribute to a weakened immune system, which can bring on an outbreak.

If your current partner does not already carry the Herpes virus, there is a chance of you passing it to her. If you are having symptoms the chance is a lot higher than if you are not but even without symptoms it could happen. One study found that people who carry type 1 herpes (this is the type that usually causes recurring sore on the mouth) had the virus around their mouth 9-18% of the time when they had no symptoms.

There are a few things that you can do to reduce the chance of passing the virus. First, if you know which strain of the virus you have, your partner can be tested to see if she already is a carrier of this strain. If she is, then she cannot be re-infected so there is no worry. If she does not carry this strain then the two of you should avoid any contact with the sores when they are present. This means no kissing or performing oral sex on her. This would also mean avoiding any contact with the area if you are noticing any warming, burning or tingling sensations around your mouth as this could be the start of an outbreak.

Check out our page on Herpes Simplex Virus for more information about this very common virus. Be sure to look at some of the resources listed at the bottom of the page.

Please leave a comment to let us know if this answers your question or if you need more information.

Health Nurse

For other readers, please feel free to leave a comment, or let us know if this was helpful.

This answer was posted on August 11, 2015.

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