If a person you were having sex with has herpes simplex virus (HSV). They would need to have HSV on the genitals at the time you had sex for it to pass to you. If the person does not have HSV sores at the time it is still possible for HSV to be there if there was some asymptomatic shedding (HSV is shedding but person has no symptoms of this taking place) at the time.
If someone has HSV, not having sex during an outbreak and using condoms are two big ways of protecting yourself from having HSV pass to someone else.
In your situation you probably need more than just a simple touch. We think that the friction/ rubbing action that happens when having sex helps with the passing of HSV as this creates little micro tears that make the passage into the body easier.
Let us know if you have any more questions or concerns.