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Thanks for writing. I'm sorry to hear about the symptoms and anxiety that you're experiencing.
It’s very normal to have anxiety about sex. Lots of people have complicated emotions after having new sexual partners, or new sexual experiences. Some people will think that they “deserve” to get something because of having sex, but it's not true.
Sex is a complicated topic for many people around the world, and there are many cultural taboos about sex. These cultural taboos can make us feel that sex is wrong or dangerous, even when we use condoms and have safe sex. However, having sex is not wrong. Having sex is a normal part of human life, and it’s not dangerous when you use protection or do low-risk activities, which is sounds like you are!
Regarding your symptoms... There are many things that cause itching and rashes. The rash is not necessarily related to the sexual encounters you've had. We would recommend seeing a healthcare professional in-person.
Hope this helps. Please let us know if this answers your question, or if you need more information.