A service provided by the BC Centre for Disease Control

Sex talk

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  • What are your (s)expectations?

    People date or hook up for lots of reasons. Some people are looking for a relationship. Some people want casual sex. If two people want different things, it can be confusing, especially when sex is involved. It's a good idea to talk and be clear about what you're looking for. This can help you to make choices that are good for you and your partner(s) and avoid hurt feelings.

  • Find your comfort zone

    When it's hot and heavy, it can be easy to end up doing something you later regret. Decide what kinds of sexual activities you are okay with and have some ways to say “no” and “wait, I need minute”. If you change your mind, you can say no, even in the middle of sex. Sex doesn't have to be about intercourse - you can do other things that may be more in your comfort zone.

  • Alcohol and drugs

    Alcohol and drugs can affect the decisions you make. Setting limits for yourself before you start to drink or take drugs can help you have an idea of what you are willing and not willing to do with someone when you are intoxicated. Make a plan for what you will do if you get really drunk or high, or if you start doing things you don’t want to do.

  • Holiday flings

    Holidays are a time to get away from the daily routine and responsibilities. Sometimes this means having sex with someone you don’t know much about and may not see again. Make sure you bring protection along so you will have your favorite brand with you, as condoms may not be easy to find when you’re travelling.

  • Online dating and hook ups

    Some people go online to find a date or for anonymous sex. People online can sometimes be different from who they are in reality. You might want to get to know them in the ‘real’ world too before you start having sex. It’s a good idea to find a public place to meet the first time and let a friend know where you are.

  • Find ways to say no.

    Getting turned down is a normal part of the dating and hookup world. Be clear and firm, but kind when you need to turn someone down. Some things you might say are “Thanks, but I’m not interested” or “Thanks, but I don’t think we want the same thing” or “Thanks, but I don’t think this will work for me”.

Dating, hookups & flings

Practicing safer sex is important if you are dating, hooking up, or having a holiday ‘fling’. Sexual partners may not know much about each other before they have sex. Because many STIs do not have symptoms, it is easy to have an STI and pass it on without knowing it. Look at the pictures above for some tips that can lower your chances of STIs and make sex pleasurable for you and your partners.

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