Sex talk

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Sexual pleasure is an important part of safer sex. Here are some ways to make safer sex more pleasurable:

Use protection that feels good. Lubricants, condom fit and the material that protection is made from (latex, polyurathane) can make a difference. Try different types of protection to find out what works best for you and your partners. Visit a sex shop or a condom store, talk to staff and get ideas about things that can help make sex feel good and lower the chances of getting an STI.

Know what feels good for you. Sexual pleasure is different for each person. It can help to learn what feels good to you, what excites you and what you are okay with. Belief and values, as well as privacy, mood and safety, can all be part of it. Try masturbating to get to know yourself. Sex toys can be another way to learn more about sexual pleasure.

Find out what feels good for your partner(s). Giving and receiving pleasure is a big part of sex. Ask your partner what they like and don’t like. Share with each other things you might like to try. Talk with each other about how to make protection feel better for everyone.

Be able to say yes and no. It can help make sex more enjoyable if you are able to say what you like. You can say things like "I like this" or "that feels good". It is also important to know you can stop something, even if you are in the middle of sex, that doesn’t feel good or right. You can say “I need to stop”, “this doesn’t feel good” or “I need a minute”. Talking about what you like can get easier with practice.

Learn more about sexual pleasure. There are lots of ways to learn about how to make sex feel better. If you have a good sex shop in your area, check out the book section. Staff can help you find books to suit your interests. Online sex shops are another way to search out good information and can be a good starting place.

If you are having problems with sexual pleasure, you may want to find a counsellor or some resources. Learn more about sexual concerns.

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