A service provided by the BC Centre for Disease Control

Sex talk

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Tell your partner what you like

What you can say

“I like it when…. ”
“ hat feels good.”
“Can you do it like this?”
“I don’t like it when…..”
“That’s not really working for me. I like this better.”
“Try it this way. It feels really good when you do that!”
“I need to stop.”
“I want to slow down?”
“Can we do that again?”
“Let's remember that position for next time!”
“Grab the lube.”

When to talk about it

You can let your partner know what you like and what you don't like anytime. Sometimes, letting someone know in the moment is a good idea because you both know exactly what you are talking about and you can make things better right away. Other times, it's better to set aside some time, not in bed, to talk about sex. A neutral place can allow you to talk about sex without getting caught up in the moment. Do what feels right for you.

Know the facts

Some people feel shy about asking for what they want during sex. If you sense your partner is one of those people, ask them what they like and encourage them. Some people fear being laughed at, so if you can help build the trust, you and your partner can learn more about each other's likes and desires. It doesn't have to be a whole conversation. Just little things can help you know what works for each of you. Open communication can make sex better!

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