Telling Your Partner(s) What You Like
When to talk about it
You and your partner(s) should be able to ask for what they want and say no to what they don’t. Talking about sex can help you and your partner(s) feel heard, respected, and have sexual experiences that are enjoyable for everyone. Consent is ongoing and you can always change your mind when it comes to physical interactions.
It is also a good practice to discuss things like what you would like during sex, what your boundaries are (what is off-limits) with you partners, as well as things like whether contraception will be used, and STIs..
What you can say
“I like it when…. ”
“That feels good.”
“Can you do it like this?”
“I don’t like it when…..”
“That’s not really working for me. I like this better.”
“Try it this way. It feels really good when you do that!”
“I need to stop.”
“I want to slow down.”
“Can we do that again?”
“Let’s remember that position for next time!”
“Grab the lube.”
Know the facts
Some people feel shy about asking for what they want during sex. If you sense your partner is one of those people, ask them what they like and encourage them. Some people fear being laughed at, so if you can help build the trust, you and your partner(s) can learn more about each other’s likes and desires. It doesn’t have to be a whole conversation. Just little things can help you know what works for each of you. Open communication can make sex better!